On my first day at a well known boarding school at the heart of the British establishment I remember the head mistress asking my parents if I would attend chapel. They both looked at me and I said “yes” immediately – I was 11 years old.  At no time had I discussed this decision with my parents who had been through a particularly messy divorce and my Jewish education had been pretty much learned from my maternal grandparents.  This was a knee jerk response probably spurred by my desire to assimilate and be a part of the school community as quickly as possible – not different from the others.  I sang in the school choir and went to chapel twice a day – I knew the service by heart and sang at my friends’ communions.  It never felt odd and actually became comfortable and soothing.  Nonetheless, I always had a strong sense of my Jewish roots and was proud of them and was happy to answer questions about Jews and Jewish life and traditions.   I had no idea that these anecdotes would later be used as weapons of horrendous abuse and torment by some of those closest to me.

Two friends in my year were brave enough to go the head and reveal what was going on and they were insistent that something should be done which led to the expulsion of the perpetrators.  I did not know this till many years later when we got together as we do from time to time.  Social media makes it easier to stay in touch and I am eternally grateful to them for speaking out and for watching my back.

Being Jewish for me has never been about religion.  It is something intangible, inherent untouchable and precious.  I am loud and proud about my Jewish roots and so are my children which makes me very happy indeed.  I remember waking up on 24th June 2016 to the result of the referendum with a sense of real foreboding.  The process has unleashed the ugliest racism and intolerance which is gathering momentum.  I witness it every day travelling to work observing how people behave towards each other with disregard and contempt.  It is rampant and scares me – a lot.  Those who speak out against anti-semitism on Twitter are reviled and vilified.  We can no longer be silent. Those who bravely speak out on our behalf are too few.  In hindsight, the determination and bravery of my young friends at school for calling out the bullies and anti-semites was remarkable.  We all need to do the same.

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